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Archive for the ‘spirit’ Category

Looking back and moving forward

Today is my daughter, Kayla’s, 20th birthday! 

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My Kayla when she was one

She is an amazing young woman who has loved me all different sizes.  She has grown with me and allowed me to be all that God meant for me to be.  She experienced me loving but depressed, loving and completely consumed with myself, loving and trying to find balance.  She has accepted me in all different places. 

Kayla was gone last year for her first year of college.  It was a hard adjustment for us at home but we were so excited for her to get to experience life away.  She came home this summer and lived here until the first of October.  She moved in with some girls.  We were all happy with her at home but as anyone who is growing up she wanted to experience life on her own.  I can’t tell you how happy I am for her.  She is searching to become all that she is meant to be.  She is willing to put herself out there, try new things, experiment and love with abandon.

Birthday fun!

Prom 2008

Kayla and her man, Joseph

Me and my girl

The Ingram women

The Ingram women

 

As a mom it is not always easy to let your baby out of the nest but it is the best thing for her and that is always what I want for her.  She takes my breath away at her beauty, maturity and wisdom.  The next decade will mean many changes for Kayla, I cannot wait to see her as she continues to grow up into herself.

Do you have a memory of Kayla Belle to share?

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One of my favorite times is Monday morning sipping coffee in bed with Lucy sitting on my lap waiting for a little drop of her morning coffee.  Keith and I discuss the weekend and then talk about the upcoming week.   Somehow focusing on all the good things about the weekend put Monday moaning at bay and I am ready for a great new week.

Some of the things I am thankful for this morning:

Coffee
Fall is here, my favorite time of  year

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Back deck

Candace was cute at halloween

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Candace for Halloween is an 80's Hair girl

Lunch was already made
Dinner is already made
Date with Keith tonight
Date with Keith Friday night was great
Got to see Kayla
Snuggled with Candace and watched TV
House is not to dirty
Laundry is almost caught up (praise be to Keith)
My best bud, Robin, had her annual family Pumpkin carving contest,
              you gotta go look, these people take their pumpkin carving very
             serious, (I missed it, had to work, but at least get to look at the
             pictures!)
Yummy pumpkin maple oatmeal for breakfast
Ran Blankets Creek Sunday and got to spend time with friend, Sonia,
           felt close to God and one with nature.
Went to Halloween Party and had a great time (Newlywed Game)
Complimented by my boss
Got  caught up with my friend,  Holly who is an amazing young woman         
               who eats so healthy and is making me try new things
              just because of  her awesome pictures of what she eats.
Faith gave me information to help my blogging pictures come out better!
Got complimented by the boss, made my heart warm
Having coffee with Toni, lunch with Beth and Karen

This weeks line up on the blog:

Exercise:  who needs it?  Who, what, and where?
Recipe:  Wild rice and chicken soup with a host of variations. 
Mind:  Do you mind?  Telling the truth?
Freakin Friday:  Giveaway and quotes (get your favorite quote ready)
 
Make a list of what you are thankful for and leave it in a comment below!
Love love my friends,
Ruthie

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The Journey Heart

Asheville, North Carolina is where my sister, Susan, lives.  It is a four-hour drive so we don’t get up there often.  We love to go see my sister and her son, Eldridge and sit on their back deck eat, discuss life and love.  We also like to go into the small town of Asheville and visit all their art galleries.  Asheville is the home of many craftsmen. 

Last time we went I came across this heart and saying.  It spoke to me and I bought a few and have it in my little blogging closet sitting on the shelf to remind me about what this journey is all about.  The heart is not pretty, it is rough, looks a little battered but the spiral in the middle draws your eyes away from the ugliness and makes you look a little deeper.

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The Journey Heart

The card that  came with it reads:

The most ancient of all symbols, the spiral honors life, growth, and the soul’s journey.  Each turn brings us nearer to our center and to a higher level of spirituality and connection to our Creator.  May your journey be light.

There are few that I know that their journey is always light.    I have enjoyed the light times in my journey but know that in order to have a beautiful Spring you must have Fall and a very cold Winter.   This last Summer seemed like a very bad Winter in some areas of my life.  The sun would occasional shoot out and give me hope of Spring.  It is still Winter for me but I feel renewed hope that Spring is coming.  I got a large warm ray of  hope this morning.  

 One thing I have learned with age, don’t let the Winter in one area of your life take over and cloud all of your life.  I am so blessed with joy and peace because I can see the whole picture.

(The definition of hope:  the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best)

May your day be filled with hope as you travel on your journey.

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I realize that as I get healthier emotionally I can laugh more at my issues.  In the past, I took everything so seriously, was so afraid for people to see the real me so I covered me up with fat.  What would they think if they really knew me?  I hid my deepest fears, feelings, pains and shame under layers of fat.  As my heart heals, the pain fades and the shame goes away, I risk and  let safe people in to see the real Ruthie.  Some things are not pretty,  scarred and still broken BUT I know that as I face my fears of rejection and pain, I become freer to be who I was always meant to be and to laugh.   The Bible says there is a time to laugh and a time to cry.  Laughter is good for my soul.

I do cardio several mornings a week with Mark, he is my gym brother.  He makes me laugh, he  aggravates me, he laughs at me and tells me I am ridiculous many times in an hour.  Talking and laughing makes the cardio hour go by really quick.  We talk about our week, our spouses, kids and ourselves (he tries to talk about sports and I can tell you that last about 10 seconds!).  One day I was talking about the way I saw myself in the past and he looked over at me and said, “You used to be a real head case didn’t you?”  I burst out laughing and said, “You have no idea!”  I cannot tell you how good it felt to be able to laugh at my past. 

Exposing who I was in the past and who I am now frees me to heal, love myself  and others.  Because I can laugh at myself I now will try new things or do things that I know I am not good at and look foolish  (box jumps–when I jump people can’t help but laugh–that will be another post).  

If I am your trainer, you know there is one thing I will never let you laugh at or make fun, that is your body fat.  Many times fat is covering up pain and I will not let people minimize their pain by making fun of their outward appearance.   For me dealing with the pain and healing, renews my spirit, gives me the energy to educate, retrain my body and mind.

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Exploring my spirit

As I explore the different facets of my life, mind, body and spirit, it is easy for me to get focused on one part of me and lose sight of my whole self.  Being overweight for 22 years it was easy for me to stay focused just on my body and spirit (depressed spirit).  Being fit and trying to get healthy (there is a big difference), again, I found my focus on my body but moved to transforming my mind.  Now I realize I have neglected my spirit and it shows in my spirituality.

NEWS FLASH:  I AM MORE THAN HOW I LOOK!  (considering having it tattooed on me)  It is embarrassing to admit, in the past,  so much of my mind and emotions have been focused on my insecurities of how I look and comparing myself to others and how they look.

All that being said, and much more being left unsaid, I am exploring my spirit.  I want it to be in a healthy, balanced state. 

Have you focused to much on one aspect of your being?  Balance is the keys to the kingdom for me.

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Only one thing

Here is your assignment, yes, you have homework!  Choose ONE habit in your life that is unhealthy and come up with a healthy alternative and start putting it into practice this week.  In the past, I have seen a lot of negative behaviors in my life, got all hyped up, made a list of changes, got completely overwhelmed and either started and gave up or never started because the list was so daunting. 

Last year I was not allowed to lift weights or do cardio the last two months of the year, I ate pretty bad during Christmas and my spirit was afraid of the task of getting healthy things back into my life, so I made a plan to work on one thing at a time.

January:   I was going to do some form of cardio six days a week for 30 minutes. 

February:   Add weights back into my routine.

March:  Eat less starch carbs.

April:   I started doing cardio four or five days a week for longer periods with intervals at least two days.

May:   I am working on spacing my food out through the day because I have low energy late in the afternoon and then starting eating the wrong things.   (My hubby and I are having a debate, he thinks it should be: me finding more time to sleep–I am reconsidering, all studies show you will gain more health by getting the sleep your body requires–it is an issue of great importance)

I am not saying I did not change anything else but I focused on that one area.  I will tell you a secret, when you get one healthy thing in your life and are successful you want more and more, it becomes easier and easier.  Success breeds more success.  Here are somethings I have learned in the last four months:

Delayed gratification is so much more rewarding than instant.

Getting my body back takes time, I must be kind and patient with myself.

If I want to lose weight I must do the time on the cardio deck. (I really already knew this, but walking it out has paid off!)

When I got the starchy carbs out of every meal I did not crave them as much.  (I eat a LOT of raw veggies and some fruit in their place)

The people whose bodies I admire work really hard and have for a long time.

I feel better eating less bad fat and starchy carbs.

When I eat healthy I do not crave as many unhealthy foods. (except the week before my period–that is a work in progress!)

I feel successful because I am gauging it on the ONE thing I am working on.

If I could choose for most of my clients what the first thing they would work on first it would be their mind.  The mind is the one of the first things my trainer helped me change.  Changing negative talk into positive talk will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Can you share with us one change you have made or will start to work on?

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The sun is shining this morning, the birds are tweeting, there is a cool breeze–a perfect day for a run.  Today I am running with a former client, friend, in her first 5k.  It is rewarding to run with someone who is pushing herself to try something new.  Six a.m. is awful early to go ride MARTA and get to Atlantic Station.   There are people in pink every where waiting for the train, you could feel the emotion in the air.  I have only run one other 5K and it was not a cancer race, I could not comprehend the emotions I would feel later in the morning.

Men, women and children in pink.  Many groups had their own shirt showing support for a family member or friend who is fighting cancer.  My heart started to well with emotions I did not know.  Waiting for the to start I am standing next to a women and her husband, on her back was an In Memory of plaque for her sister who lost the battle at age 48.  To stand near so many people who were supporting and uniting for one cause was amazing.  Up a head there was a bald head with many people around her, holding her hand.  I felt love all around me.  Love for strangers on a journey I cannot comprehend, but the love is another story.

Friends and family there to support

Friends and family there to supportBefore the run we united

 
Running for the cure

Running for the cure

 

The ladies I went with to the race

The ladies I went with to the race

 

 

Balloons released
Balloons released

 

Honestly, I went to support a friend on her first run, I came home different.  It is hard to put into words my feelings, I am still processing the emotions.  There are so many brave warriors out there.  They are heroes in my book.

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