Posts Tagged ‘the best thing ever’

My husband is one of the kindest people alive.  He puts up with me, that alone should win him an extra jewel in his crown.  After 27 1/2 years (I am proud of that half year, # 27 was a hard one and this  1/2 has been blissful!)  he has learned the best way to approach me.  I have learned to listen carefully to the meanings of his kind statements, but sometimes I miss the deeper meaning.  Sunday night would have been one  of those times.

Keith and I were doing our regular Sunday night activity of folding clothes and getting ready for the week.  As we were folding clothes he mentioned that fact that I had gotten up consistently the last eight weeks at 4:00 a.m. to exercise and how proud he was of me.  He said he has been thinking that maybe my body might need a rest in the middle of the week and I should maybe think about taking  Wednesdays off  and workout on Saturday.  I blew him off and said I was in a good rhythm and wanted to keep it up.  He was quiet for a little while but I did not notice and then he let out a large breathe and said, “What I am trying to say is that you get really tired by Thursday night and you are not very nice by the time you get home.”  Okay, now he had my attention.  Me, not nice on Thursdays?  Hmmmm, could that be true?  I always tell people that we are exhausted by Thursday and take it easy Thursday night.  When I started to think about it, I realized yes we all are tired on Thursdays, but I am really tired and grouchy. 

Being a rigid person, in the past, afraid that if I take a break one day I may never go back, I felt a little afraid and told him I would work on the grouchy part.  I could not say I would not go in on Wednesday.  Keith is so supportive and does everything he can to help me accomplish my goals.  He goes in a little later in the mornings and takes Candace to school so I can get my workouts in.  He never complains and cheers me on so I did not want to ignore his comment but I had a little fear and had to work through it.  Wednesday I got up at 4:00 a.m. as usual and worked out.  When I got home I was exhausted.  My knee and hand were hurting.    My body was tired, my emotional reserves were low and after I snapped at Candace for no good reason I stopped and said enough.  I got into bed at 8:00, fell asleep by 9:30 and slept until 4:53.  No workout this morning.  The sky has not fallen and I feel rested. 

Fear of going back, fear of failing, fear of  gaining weight used to be my driving force.  Now I truly am driven by the desire to be healthy.  Sometimes healthy means listening to your body and resting.  I believe in myself and my healthy desires and know that I will be back on Friday.  Letting go of  past fears feels good.

Finding my desire to be healthy under the fear was the best thing ever!  Do you have a fear that effects your life?  Can you let it go?  Can you dig deeper and find your true desire?

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Really Ruthie?

Figuring life out one day at a time...


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